It has been an extremely slow process healing from the brain injury I got from covid. I'm still not running on full cylinders, but I've improved enough that for the first time I actually feel I'm able to travel alone. NOW I feel some semblance of myself again.
People have been telling me for probably a year that I seem like I'm better, I must be doing okay if I'm able to travel, etc. But up until now that has not been the case. They don't know what's going on inside, how big the struggle has been, and how difficult it is just to get through the day. And as far as travel, how hard it is to figure out the most basic logistics.
I have to give myself some leeway knowing that I'm missing a good bit and not doing things as good as I used to. Not because of old age (people love to point that out which makes me insane) but because my brain is still not quite processing things correctly. But hopefully that will keep improving!
Like I'm pretty sure I may have paid twice as much as I should have for the boat over to the island even though I was given a big hint as to a different boat I could have taken. The details aren't important and I'm not going to dwell on it.
Up until now I have been scared as shit to solo travel. And for good reason - I've tried and failed more than once. My reasoning, planning, putting the puzzle together, all that has just not been working. Again, I may not be (who am I kidding, I'm definitely not) doing a perfect job of it now, but now I feel confident enough to figure out how to get from point A to point B. This is a massively huge step right here!
I'm a bit LESS of the endearing (please let me be endearing) aging aunt that doesn't quite have it all together. I'm so stoked I can't even tell you. I honestly didn't know if I would ever get to this point.
I hate having to put the caveat that this doesn't mean I'm better. This means I have recovered enough to start living my life again. I hope to keep improving mentally and physically. I think it's doubtful I will ever recover fully but I'm so happy to come as far as I have.
Grateful to be alive. Grateful to have so much love in my life, from both those present and past.