I arrived here of course a bit nervous (is that the word?) coming to a new place alone. Communicating with people that I don't know their language. Learning the ins and outs of the where I'd be staying for the next 7 weeks.

Instead of going out exploring, I found myself hiding out in my safe haven, my computer. I worked on my website, wrote some articles. This is fun for me and I'm so happy to have time to do it! I actually stood in the middle of the room one day and thought (or said out loud more like) "I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not on the computer." Wow, I really do have some adjusting to do. The place seemed a bit dirty and just not very nicely laid out. The energy is just all wrong. It all felt just a bit weird. Nowhere to even put my clothes. The one hot room has a nightstand with 3 cubbies in it. That's it. Even the big bedroom that has a wardrobe, the shelves are full of towels.

Things became even more confusing when the pembantu (gardener) told me that the electricity was almost out and I had to pay to put more on and that the motorbike was broken. Given that I'm in not in an area with much to walk to, I was relying on that motorbike. And I didn't know I'd have to pay for utilities here.

What the hell am I doing here? What have I done?

I started looking at other places to stay ether on Bali or elsewhere.

Had a nice chat with the previous house/pet sitter and it turns out that she got the sham too. And that the place was such a wreck when she got here that she cried the first night. Having someone in my court made me feel better.

The next morning I woke up to a bit of sunlight and a new attitude. I can do this. I enjoyed coffee and my last pastry, and walked to the local market. I was a bit awkward with my lack of language but I managed some laundry soap, dish soap, cut a deal on some fruits, and got a lighter for the incense. Success. I'm still spending a lot of time on my phone and computer but today was better. I had an interesting afternoon when I almost asked Alexa what the temperature was (there is no Alexa here). Then I thought about how perfect my Roomba would be here. Then my back hurt. Oh my Teeter. I was thinking how yes, these things DO actually make my life better. I mean seriously the Teeter mostly. It has been life changing on my back that has had problems since I was in a car accident in my mid-twenties.

I had flashes of if I was really meant to travel full time as I've always thought. Maybe I could go home and just work and be super happy in my wonderful little beach cottage and my fluffy love kitty. I really need to figure this out, don't I? I know travelling would also make my life better, but what's the weigh-out? Am I turning my back on something wonderful just for some greener grass?

Then I cleaned up the house a little and went for a dip in the pool in the rain. Got out to a full rainbow over the beach with about 100 dragonflies darting around. I feel it. Slowly I'm making the shift to remembering what's really important and what really makes someone (me anyway) truly happy. Honestly until you feel it, you don't even know it exists. It's like love; fairy-tale love, Until you feel it, you THINK you've been in love but you have no idea what's really out there. The "Egg Island moment."