Although I had already mentally planned this trip early in the year as my first foray into full-time travel, a chance to get my travel site updated and actually running, and hopefully having the company of my best travel buddy, as 2019 progressed, it turned into something different. These 2 months in Costa Rica became a necessary escape from life to try and heal my broken heart and ailing soul.

This isn't the first time I've traveled to try and find myself again. After my divorce I was in a pretty deep depression. I gained a ton of weight, I cried all the time, and I was in despair. I knew I couldn't continue living my life like that so I trekked off to India for a month. While I was there I happened upon a 10 day Buddhist meditation silent retreat and man, was that just what I needed!! I came home a different person.

Well if I thought the divorce depression was bad, I had no idea what real emotional strife felt like.

Within 6 months of each other, I lost 2 of the people closest to me. I am honored to say that I was able to be with both of them as they passed, which is something I'll always be grateful for. But it's been rather traumatic and although I genuinely feel like I'm doing as okay as one could do in this situation, I also know that I am a wreck inside and I need to process all of this and work on healing myself. Well aren't I just a ray of sunshine?! LOL

So off to Costa Rica I go! Get me out of here!I have to admit that even though I have all the time in the world, I'm finding it easy to put off "dealing with things." Thoughts of my lost loved ones surface and I figure I'll wait until tomorrow to dive deep into it. The mañana attitude. I've got it down pat!

I had originally decided on Costa Rica so it would be closer for my one friend who passed to come visit me down here. It really wasn't at the top of my list. I hadn't been to Costa Rica in 19 years and although it was considered "pasado" (over touristed and over expat'd) then, I figured it would be an easy destination and I was curious to see what it's like nowadays.

I have yet to spend hours meditating and letting emotions surface and all the wonderful healing processes I had pictured doing on this trip. But just being away from all of their material things that are now in my home and not having to look at what used to be my life and seeing a gaping hole, being somewhere that has nothing to do with my old life and being away from the stresses of that life, I'm doing better already.

Travel in general gives you (or me at least) such a free and genuinely happy feeling that just can't be described. I suppose it's not having to answer to anyone or anything, having the freedom stay, having the freedom to go, taking life day by day, discovering new places and people. Free and happy, free and happy. In many meditations, you'll be trying to release the thoughts and energies that no longer serve you. Traveling makes that easier.

It can take quite a while to wind down from everyday life and soak in the clarity and openness, the beauty and diversity and happiness that the world has to offer. But when you get there, to that feeling, that "Egg Island moment", you'll know.